Do We Cause Abuse on Ourselves?

ray-rice-fiancee-janay-palmerIn a conversation with one of my sisters yesterday, we were talking about the Ray Rice situation. We were watching the video online and noticed his wife hit him first in the hallway then seemed to elbow him and spit at him in the elevator then all hell broke loose. We agreed what he did was wrong, but the debate here is if we spark the fire, whose fault is it when there is an uncontrollable blaze?

Our Tempers
Here is the deal, men do things to us that influence us fly off the handle. Our emotions are raw and we get into a “don’t give a fawk” mentality. The moment we go there and start throwing hands, we give up our right to be protected. A man is physically stronger than you, so throwing that punch, slap, spit, kick will entice him to hit you back. We have to take responsibility for what we do. That does not mean in any way that I’m advocating this loser knocking out his wife or any abuser; there is a difference between a man abusing a woman and a man reacting to being attacked. If we want a man to have self-control, then we need to practice the same.

Woman Yells at ManHIM
The other perspective of this is who we choose to be around. Some men are just abusive. You walk past them the wrong way and they want to throw hands. Violence against anyone is not ok. The news doesn’t have to report someone getting hit to remind us that we are worth more than an asshole belittling and physically hurting us. You have to know who you are dealing with. Everyone makes mistakes but there is a difference between getting abused and getting into a fight. Your voice is yours and you have a right to speak up for yourself. You also have a right to defend yourself if you are being attacked. Just understand, when you are the attacker, you should not play the victim.

Picking Fights
If you know you can’t take someone down, don’t try to. If your dude does something infuriating, the biggest fight you will win is by removing yourself from him. It will actually hurt him more than any physical blow. Stand tall with your heels and your head even higher ladies.


Peering over my throne…

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