Ask A Wife: Helen Rhoads

marriage-boot-campIf you don’t pay any attention to the rest of the blog posts I write/ post, listen to this. DO NOT marry a person you are not willing to FIGHT tooth-and-nail, to-the-death for!!  Just don’t do it. Now, before you go saying “but what about” or “but you don’t know about”, just trust me.  I know.  Those should be rare and extenuating circumstances that this piece of advice is designed to ward off.  I can promise you that I do understand “stuff happens”.  That’s a whole ‘nother topic for a whole ‘nother post.

First, let me say that this advice is for BOTH parties.  (You’ll find a lot of my advice is fairly applicable to both genders.)  BOTH of you need to be willing to do anything and everything for each other.  And I do mean ANYthing and EVERYthing.  You need to be willing to do things for the other person that you don’t want to because they need you to.

Case in point: my husband kills bugs for me.  I hate bugs.  They don’t pay rent, so they need to die!  He takes care of that.  He also puts my clothes in the dryer for me since I often can’t reach the ones at the bottom of the washer.

Couple-prayingYou also need to be willing to do anything you have to in order to save the marriage and make it work.  If you need to seek couples counseling, do it.  If you need to sacrifice something for the sake of the relationship, do it.  If you’re not willing to do that for this person, DO NOT marry them. Marriage is not for the faint of heart, in case you can’t tell.  This is supposed to be a life-long commitment.  This is not “until I’m tired of them” or “I found someone better.”  Nope, the vows say “until death do us part”.  Not “until we decide to part”.

The vows say “for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health until death do us part.”  This is not a buffet.  You don’t pick and choose what life hands you with your spouse.  You stick with it and make it work.  You do what you have to. It’s not about you once you’re married.  It’s about US.  WE do what’s best for US.  There’s a mindset you have to be willing to adopt and keep if you want to be married.  No giving up, no backing out.  TILL DEATH.

I’ll leave you with this next bit to think on.  My husband and I are fans of the quote, “Sometimes it’s nothing but the cold hard steel of commitment that keeps you together.”

Till Next Time,
Mrs. Helen Rhodes

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