Since I’ve started filming my webseries and working full time, I haven’t had time for much. I would say in the past six-seven months of my life I haven’t been a phone person. The people, who were around my life not quite in my life, have had a problem with this.
I’ll admit my communication skills have dulled down since last May. For the last six months, my whole life changed. I literally went from grad school student and part time teacher to full time professor and filmmaker. My life is a constant 12-hour day. In fact, I’m writing this blog at 4AM! So with that I’ve gotten backlash because I’m busy.
I’ve had two friends, who wrote me off, claiming I didn’t have time for them because I wasn’t answering their phone calls and were upset. I felt bad because they felt bad and I apologized if they felt ignored but I didn’t lose sleep over it. Why? Because people in my life understood what I was going through and made the effort to come see me because they knew what was going on. They didn’t wait on a call back; they either just came to my house, called when they knew I was free or just chilled until I got back to being me. They also understood I’m so focused on my career right now and don’t take it personally that I’m literally on my grind. As for the upset parties, what could I do?
One of my resolutions, for this year, was to not make promises I knew I couldn’t keep. If I know I can’t commit to something I just won’t. I said in a text conversation, to one of my formers, I don’t know when I’ll get back to who I was. Who I used to be was a person who gave so much to everyone that there was little room for myself. I gave so much that I lost myself in the process and now that I’m back, I’m not giving her up for anyone.
So there it is folks. I’m 31 and moving forward. This isn’t personal or me being rude. It is me being selfish because I owe this time to myself because mommyhood is near and when I have a family, I’ll devote my life to them. Meanwhile, I’m a writer, blogger, educator, filmmaker and mommy to Little Ceasar. If that isn’t enough to respect my boujie business then it’s best that we part ways.
About to brew some tea…