Convenience or Temporary Shacking

couple-living-together1One of the few things about Steve Harvey’s book, “Think Like a Man” that made sense was how to be aware of a man’s intentions. When you are deciding to move in with your significant other, be clear about why both of you want to shack up. In this economy, better to have a roommate to cuddle with than bare the monthly bills alone! Still, living with someone is completely different than being married to someone. Some of you ladies need to understand that living with a man doesn’t guarantee marriage.

bad-first-date-everTiming:

When you are being approached about sharing the same address, look at how long you are together. If you barely know one another, why are you rushing into it? Six months of dating and he wants to move in? RED FLAG! This looks like foul play! Remember, how it starts tend to be how it ends. It takes a while before people’s true colors begin to show. Loving someone from a distance is not the same as living with them. You letting him move in with you or vice versa too soon, could end up being a tragedy because you don’t know each other well. Give it some time before you call USPS!

s-SHACKING-UP-largeTemporary Living

If a man loses his job or has some temporary circumstance and he needs to stay with you for a little while, remember it is TEMPORARY! This does not mean you can start to order bridal books. You have to think like a man here. When a man is looking at something temporarily, it means he needs to get his stuff together before moving forward. It is very rare when he is in a temporary situation that he is thinking of anything long term other than how he is going to get himself out. So do not be surprised when he announces he has found his own place. It’s a good thing. He is being man and doesn’t want to depend on anyone but himself. The last thing you want is someone who is shacking up with you and you are taking care of them. Your man is not your son, get it together ladies!

87D93CA6F45631F2234379A49E7F9_h400_w300_m2_bblack_q99_p99_cRYzWFdXpThe Exception

For every rule there is an exception. J Many of you are looking forward to this but this rule is for a selective few and the majority tends to come up short here. When you and your man decide it is time to move in together and you have already discussed where you want to go, (marriage) it can end there. When this is the case, make sure you have something solid on the table. If you both want marriage, are planning on being together and you see he is making the steps to make that happen, by all means go for it. You will know if living together is for convenience when he gets an attitude about where you both are headed and clearly does not make one step towards moving forward. That milk and free cow shit comes into play here. Smh… However, some guys want to make sure they can take care of you. Do not push him into marrying you every single day until he does it. This is a major turn off. If you are living together and he is doing things like cleaning up his credit, saving to buy a house with you, guess what? Those are signs he is planning on sticking around for a while, so breathe and make the bed, wife. (Sorry you are not wife, wifey is playing house, wife gets the house.)

Think-Like-A-Man-18The Problem:

The problem with moving in with a guy is the painful act of when someone has to move out. There are no legalities to back you if you are not married. If the lease is in your name, and he moves out, you might have to deal with the bills of a two – three bedroom apartment. If you buy a home together and you are not married, you have to deal with property taxes, renters, and unfortunately your ex. Just yuck! At least when you are married you can think twice about breaking up and the court can make him pay for the debt. J Some guys just want to have instant access, hence the convenience of living together. Many of them do not want to grow up but want to keep the “girlfriend” forever. If you are dealing with a boy, this will be your reality. Boys do not marry women, men do. Check this guy and make a decision. So what is it going to be? Dessert or Disaster?

Picking at my dessert…

-Boujie Mack

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