Hump Day Files: Asking For Permission

tumblr_lt43drqmve1qewmu6o1_500When I hear men complain that they don’t understand why women like bad boys, I look at them like they’re stupid. It’s not about us liking men who commit crimes, cheat on their women or are abusive; most women like assertive men. These so-called “bad boys” are very direct and are alpha males. Is it possible to want this alpha, assertive man type and he’s a good guy or are we doomed?

So one of my Boujie girls was dating this guy. He’s pretty good looking, made decent money and had wants for a woman in his future, in other words he was looking for a wife. So of course she jumped on it. The problem was he didn’t want to taking the lead on things. She would ask him what he wanted to do and his response was, whatever you want to do. When they would cuddle, he asked if he could touch her. Now, old school romantics would say he’s taking his time to get to know her and seeing where she is mentally, which I initially thought. But when it got down to the nitty gritty, he told her he wanted HER to take the lead. Wait what?

8538_4409_480-gifI would have dropped him too because men are supposed to take the lead. They don’t have to be “bad boys” in order to do that. I think a lot of us put up with these weaker men in fear of ending up with a “bad boy” but that weak ass behavior then leads to bad decision making in the future. Think about it, so he lets you take the lead now, right? What happens when you are facing a crisis or are threatened, are you supposed to take the lead then too? Take the lead at raising the family? Take the lead at making money? Get where I’m going with this.

If you are going to be a choosy lover, choose someone who matches your needs, not wants. We want a romantic guy who is nice and wants a future but what else comes with him? There is more to a “good man” than passive behavior. Let’s not settle for that guy but choose a life with someone who matches you needs.

Singing Choosy Lover…

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