The worse feeling someone can get is when their significant other asks for some space. The reason why people are emotional about this is because it initially is rejection from their loved ones. Why would someone, who you love, claim they need time away from you? There are a lot of reasons why separations are needed. For example, if things are so tense and have escalated to violence, then yes space is definitely needed. Sometimes if infidelity is a problem, space is needed because people need to heal and clear their minds. Those are a few reasons why a couple must split and call it “space”.
I wish there were times I could call my job and say, I would like to hang up my professor hat for a few months but would like to keep the benefits. How hard would the HR person laugh as they post up a new position while I’m gone? The same thing goes for being in a relationship. Times get hard, they really do, especially if you have been together for a while. So when times get tough, you call a time out? What happens when time gets really tough, you call it quits? Just like we cannot stop being our professions or titles such as sister, daughter, cousin, friend, why are we pausing in a relationship?
The longer you live, the tougher things can become. Problems don’t stop after you turn 30 or 40; they continue for the rest of your life. When you choose to push through those problems and work on them together you build a better bond. Now taking space is something else. If you need space from me to get yourself together, then you don’t need me. If during tough times I have to bare pain alone, then I don’t need you.
Asking for space to “do you” is a cowardly approach and very selfish. If someone asks you for this, move on with your life and if they return, (which inevitably they will) make it a point that they earn your love back. Unless you are married, then sorry that’s your spouse. Just move out the way and help them bring their luggage in. Pray and go to counseling. Marriage is forever ladies. But asking for space, is a no-no.
Before you completely throw in the towel, find out what your mate is looking for and refrain from sleeping with him. When someone asks you for space, the privileges of being with you also get space. Do not double dip, you will find yourself on the side of heartache and later resentment. Plus it can get confusing. My solution? Work it out like you work everything else out. If you can’t then be an adult and break up. Don’t lead someone on if you want to leave. Just let them go and if it is meant to be, it will be.
Looking out into the universe…