Tag Archives: Epic Fails

Do you Know how to Dougie?

So we are getting ready to talk on the phone for the first time before we go on our date. The second he opened his mouth all the cutie stuff he did just went out the window. He kept asking if my profile picture was really me and asked if I could take a picture right now and send it to him. Then he asked if he could have a sexy personal picture then sent me a picture of his dick. All kinds of foolery!

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You Should Know Who I Am…not really!!

First of all, if your name isn’t President Barack Obama, it is less likely that I’m going to know who you are just by looking at you “mayn!” This little guy gets all upset and starts talking shit. “Don’t you watch BET?!” I look at him and I say, “Do I look like I watch BET!?” His boy gonna say “she one of them chics, you know dem girls who watch VH1.”

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Flea Filled Dog and A Boujie Girl

Some low self-esteemed men are like that. Rejection somehow in their heads means she really wants me. They chase harder and harder…meanwhile your main squeeze has no clue on how to behave with you. Uh! The way the world works. I’m get back to you guys on this one…

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Facebook Poking Gone Too Far!

Well because him and I remained friendly, we would chat occasionally and I once “poked” him on Facebook. While he was defending befriending me and him wanting to show me his penis (I told them that) he said, “Well she’s the one who poked me on Facebook!” I was told there was a brief moment of silence until one of them said… “wait…she poked you?”

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I am not a breadcrumb

I had a rough week with my editors and at a weak moment I answered him and sent him my number telling him it was ONLY for business. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t even put my number on my business cards that how much I don’t want people to have instant access to me. Anyways, he promised he wasn’t like that and he just wanted to talk about publishing over drinks. The second I sent my number and he started talking foolishness and how much he can’t wait to see me. I felt God SHHH (Shaking His Holy Head). Sure enough, I soon get a Facebook message that he “lost” my number and for me to please sent it to him. Oh really? (Go God)

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Kiss My…V

The lack of unity amongst women blows me away. Ever notice men don’t have to know each other yet somehow they always have each other’s backs? Can we really say the same? Since everyone is out for self these days, there is no unity or even sympathy between women. This kind of thinking is going to leave some of you ladies, if you even still deserve that title, alone with a truck load of bad karma. Remember karma is the universe’s way of telling/ showing you- you didn’t get away with that crap!

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Why oh why can’t some men have any tact?!

Who is right and who is wrong? I think to avoid all awkwardness cut off the dude. He is likely to be gone in some years (or days for some) and you may want to keep the girlfriend around. Putting a guy first is just not the Boujie way!!!

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Life Kicked My ass

One thing about being a Boujie girl that I don’t always enjoy is the lack of respect I get from others! Last week was crazy, just crazy.

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Lovely Meeting Your Ass

Was her Boujie not getting along with mine? Keep in mind that I wasn’t going to say hello to either of them, I only speak when spoken to. If that was her girlfriend, she had no reason to be pissed at me. She came up to me and started gibbering.

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How much bigger does your TV need to be?

To my fellow Boujie girls, as long as you meet your needs, there is no reason to feed your wants. After all you’ve earned it. I do not want to hear about your wants coming before baby food! That is just not the Boujie way! God, family, then you. Try it.

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“I think You’re Beautiful and I want to get to know you so give me your number.”

How about just “Hi, you look really nice,” with a smile or bring up something interesting that would strike up a conversation. Very few things can scare a woman, but one thing that can scare us off is a wayyyy too eager man. Just a tip!

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Top 10 Things You Never Tell A Boujie Girl

If you want to get with a Boujie Girl…know what to not say before you open your mouth.

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Blasting My Ex

Wrap your minds around this, when it’s over, it’s just that over. Get excited about better. If you thought that person was the shit, imagine what’s to come. Usually in the near future you realize they really were not all that they were cracked up to be anyways, but you can now chop it up to life’s experience. Sorry Reggie, you sexy motha….

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Who are you sex-texting?

Do something sexy like at the movies, the nasty picture you took, show it to them calmly like a text message and put your phone away. It’s random and exciting. If you are going to do it, do it smart.

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No Thanks Buddy!

Either way, I’m shutting doors and looking forward. I don’t like to play games but I don’t like to be bothered either. Where are the genuine people?!

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