Wait… I’m Pretty?!

unnamedI’m going to be featured in a magazine coming out soon. The editor asked me to send him some headshots if I have them or I’d have to set up a photoshoot. A little while back, I had a big photoshoot with 800 pictures. I honestly only liked about 6. I went back to see if I had any other headshots, before I scheduled a photoshoot, and you wouldn’t believe it!

I went through those photos and thought, what the fuck was my problem? There 44 pictures that I just loved. The others not so much but I looked at the pictures like wow this is me? Not too much make-up, my face is a little pudgy but I look really nice. I was overly critical of myself at the time but I also remembered where I was at the time when I had the photoshoot.

Looking back, I was getting out of a relationship and didn’t feel so great about myself. As a matter of fact, my then boyfriend upset me to the core the night before and it wasn’t until one of my good friends came over that morning to help me get ready, did I have my head on straight. My friend Crystal has gift of making people feel like super models and just plain special, which is why I didn’t cancel the shoot. But when I got the pictures back, I am mid-breakup, feeling low and sad. So I didn’t see the beauty in the pictures. With everything I was dealing with mentally, I was also not confident in my body. That made the whole experience even more uncomfortable. My bestie Imani kept saying, you look so pretty what’s the problem? But I didn’t see it. I got through it and hated the outcome but now I’m like… whoa!

I say this to say, time heals everything and your vision changes too. What you might see in a time of darkness isn’t always true, especially of ourselves. I’m going to post up my pictures up when I revamp the site. I’m all excited and shit. By the way, it’s day three of juicing. Guess who is feeling pretty damn good!

Sipping on green juice and taking selfies,
BOUJIE MACK

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