Day One: Why Do You Want to Get Married?

My-Big-Fat-Greek-Wedding-Get-Married-Make-BabyToday is the first day of the challenge. I am asking all of you ladies, who are doing it, to keep a journal throughout the process. You are going to take notes and journal what you are learning about yourself. To begin, the first question I want to ask is Why do you want to get married?”

A lot of us think we have to get married because it is what we were taught we had to do. It is a part of the process of life. Go to school, get a job, get married and have kids. When you are brought up to think this way and life doesn’t happen the way you expect, you become disappointed and hurt. But what exactly are you hurt and upset about? Upset that you are not following the traditional doctrine of getting married? We are not milking cows and waiting for the husband to bring home the beef anymore, so why should you stick to wanting something you don’t even understand. Understanding why you want to get married is the first step to preparing for it.

If everyone around you is getting married and seems happy, it doesn’t mean you have to get married too. That is not a good reason to want a husband. If you are getting older and the “clock is ticking” (the biological one) and you feel like you have to find someone, that isn’t a good reason to want marriage either. Even if you want to start your life with someone, it doesn’t mean you are ready for marriage.

tumblr_m3rqm1cG2D1qhu6b3o1_500You should want marriage because you want to make someone else happy. Are you ready to share everything in your life and do everything to make this person happy, even if it means sometimes they come before you? You have to be willing to forgive their selfish behavior and sometimes unruly ones. You have to support them in every way, even if you don’t agree. The amount of sacrifice that comes with marriage is unbelievable, are you ready for that? You have to want the good, accept the bad and be ready to tackle the ugly. Are you really ready to give your all into someone and build a life with them and accept them for who they are…forever? They should add to you and you should be willing to add to them. Everything else is a plus.

The only thing I want you to focus on by the end of today is answering honestly, why do you want to get married? Take away all the pressures to marry, loneliness, envying your friends getting married, being single, wanting kids and find out why you want marriage so bad.

Blowing dust off my journal…
BOUJIE MACK

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